Saturday, March 15, 2008
Hello once again everyone. How's everything going? Holidays are almost coming to an end...only left with tomorrow. I don't mind going back to school but I really hate having to sleep and wake up so early. I wanted to take a break from my holiday stuff and instead, made this up just for fun. If you played Assassin's Creed yourself, you would understand what I'm doing, if not just ignore it. Today I completed assassin's creed.After completing Assassin's Creed, I feel that I still have not gotten my fill of the way of the assassin, so I went to the nearest Assassin's Bureau [the entrance was located at the roof of Tiong Bahru Plaza] and enrolled to become a master of the blade. They asked me to put my left hand onto a table and then proceeded to chop my ring finger off. [It hurt, but all assassins have to do that. I dunno why though.] Then they gave me this hidden blade which was really quite cool[I could extend and retract it whenever I wanted]. And they also gave me these robes and told me to put them on. I felt that they was really impractical because it was really warm and Singapore's temperature doesn't really help.
Then they gave me a horse and told me to ride to Masayf. At first I didn't really know how to get there but as soon as I rode to the traffic light outside Tiong Bahru Plaza, a screen popped up and asked me where I would like to go. I selected Masayf and all of a sudden, I wasn't on my horse anymore. Instead, I was in this weird ass place that was seriously freaking me out. There were these glitches all over the place and to make things worse there was this creepy computer woman giving me tips. I just ran around for a while, thinking "Why the heck does this thing take so long to load" and then I was back on my horse again, outside the gates of Masyaf. Whoa. I was suffering from some serious jet lag but I still made my way to the assassin's stronghold. When I entered, I met Altair, the master Assassin, and the new leader of the assassin's. I heard that the old leader was this old fart called Al something who was always speaking in riddles and he turned out to be a fraud and when he went bad on everyone, Altair totally f***ed him up, and thus, Altair became the new leader.
Altair was really cool because he talked with an American accent unlike everyone else in this weird place. They all spoke like the people we know as TERRORISTS in the modern day. So Altair briefed me on the test I was about to take. I would have to pass the test to become an assassin, obviously. The test consisted of 6 stages.
Stage 1: Scale a building.
Altair followed me back to the real world. He also gave me this wicked sword which I could do counter kills with. He said he would pick the district I would be climbing a building in. In his world, he had 3 districts in each town, the rich, the middle and the poor district. I explained to him that we had 3 districts in the real world too, namely the shopping district, the Central Business district and the red light district. Altair chose the Central Business District. So we took the MRT to City Hall. Altair was really worried when he saw the police guards patrolling Raffles Place station, but I told him they wouldn't bother us if we didn't bother them. So we got off at City Hall and he picked the building for me to climb: The Westin Stamford hotel. The tallest building in Singapore. He said he would be following me. As I did not have the grab skill like him, I fell like 50 times. Good thing I had unlimited respwans. Finally we got up and Altair told me I passed the first stage. As a reward, I gained the grab skill. I felt like punching him because he should have given me it before we did this, but he was my master, and I had to obey him.
Stage 2: Leap of faith.
Altair told be I had to leap off the building and survive. I was like "Are you shitting me?" He stared at me for a while and said in that stupid calm voice "NO. Try to land in that fountain down there. Go my child, leap into the hands of faith." "More like the hands of suicide" I mumbled to myself. I jumped off and bam. Respwan. In the end I did it, but I landed on the canvas and miraculously, it didn't tear. Altair said he could count that as a pass. I got throwing knives as a reward.
Stage 3: Blade in the crowd.
Altair told me that I had to assassinate a policemen without alerting others. He advised me that I should use blend to avoid being seen. We went to Toa Payoh central for this. I saw two policemen out for lunch and slowly crept up behind him. Then I used my hidden blade to ass rape him. Then I immediately blended. The police men took out his gun and pointed it at me. "What are you doing? Can't you see my hands? I'm praying, you dumbass, I'm not an assassin now" I yelled at him. The police man stared at me and then shot me in the leg. Altair rescued me somehow, but I failed this stage as a result. I was really starting to feel that Altair was just messing around with me.
Stage 4: Perform 3 counter kills
We went to Bishan neighbourhood police post and Altair killed a policeman, before running away. Policemen poured out of the police station. I locked on to one of them and instantly drew out my sword. I was waiting for one of them to attack me before countering, but unfortunately, unlike the foes in Altair's world, the policemen did not attack one by one, instead they all pounded on me with their batons. At the same time. When they were done, I was so screwed I thought Altair was my girlfriend and I tried to kiss him. He failed me. The dickhead killed the cop and I got bashed.
Stage 5: Blend with the crowd
I just had to gentle push everyone out of the way. Simple. Somehow that was considered socially acceptable. Of all places to do this, that idiot Altair chose Orchard Road. The first person I gentle pushed was this punk. He immediately whipped around and told me to "step the f*** off man." I blended and backed off. I continued gentle pushing my way through the crowd, ignoring the insults and hand gestures of the people who I touched. Then, when I almost completed this stage, this beggar woman walked up to me and said "Please sir, can I have some coins" again and again. I told her no and she said "You don't understand sir, I haven't got any money" I said "Yea, isn't that why you're asking me for it?" She looked stupidly at me for a moment, then started her begging again. She wasn't very smart. She kept following me and her voice kept ringing inside my head. I just wanted to give her some cash so that she would get lost, but guess what, I couldn't. In the end I got so frustrated that I high profile assassinated her and got those f***ing policemen on my ass again. I failed this stage too.
Stage 6: Assassinate an important person
That bitch Altair tricked me into this one. He asked me casually "Who is equal to the king in this city?" "The president, I guess" I replied. So he asked me to assassinate the President. It was impossible. I never got past the front gate of the Istana, so I failed this.
Altair said that I failed the test so I had to return them back everything. I asked him if he could give me back my finger in exchange. He looked dumbfounded for a while, then he said that he didn't know where my finger was, so I could keep the clothes and weapons. Then he turned to leave and I wanted to say goodbye, so I put my hand on his back and he immediately used "grab break" on me, twisting my arm so that I would back face him, then he kicked my ass and I fell forward. When I looked up, he was gone. What a master assassin. No wonder the chicks don't hit on him.
Being an assassin may be badass, but it really isn't that fun. We should just wait patiently for Assassin's Creed 2: Assassinate Harder. It sure beats taking a bullet to the leg.
posted @ 4:45 PM
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